The Hen or the Egg

Many have asked the question about which is more important the Hen or the egg some argue that the egg is more important hence it is the beginning of the creative stage of the bird while others say it is the hen simply because it is the carrier of the creation.

In my opinion both are important but if I had to pick one for the sake of this article I would pick the Hen.

There are some families in Nigeria that value children over their mothers and as such will insist that a to be bride must be at least 6 months pregnant before she will be wedded while some others insist that she must deliver the child first. Whichever scenario you paint I tell you that it is a wicked and desperate situation.

People have argued that the harsh realities that people are confronted with is dished to them by society but my dear reader here`s a news flash for you. Women are the problem of other women period!

The bible advices us not to be anxious for ANYTHING and I have over the years understood why for the less spiritual I would like to testify that in Gods time all things come to term hence worrying and running to and fro for solutions often becomes fruitless , frustrating and full of consequences.

I had a chat with a woman in her late 60`s whose family engage in such practice and this is what she had to say.

“We often insist that the incoming bride conceives first so as to ascertain that she is fertile and can carry a pregnancy to term. Who wants to marry a barren woman? We all want what is best for our children. Do you know what the lady must have done in her youth? Or if they have fertility problems in their family….” I was startled and she continued to say “I met this practice and I was equally a victim so who am I to change it?”

It`s a shame that even in the 21^st century we are confronted with issues like this. I would want to assume that a couple should decide the level of risk they want to take without recourse to dehumanizing and agonizing methods.

Where is your God? What is your faith? Where is the love? What do you really want?

At this point I would like to ask, what should a lady who has been in Christian courtship with a man for 5years do? Defile herself and her values or forfeit the marriage? Your choice is as good as your moral standards. The society that put us in this horrible dilemma is the group of evil women who instigate such thoughts in the hearts of their sons. Some go further to advice their daughters to get pregnant in a bid to force marriage on a preferred suitor. How disgraceful and desperate!

For the benefit of the young women who will stumble on this article, my advice to you is that you are not bound to anybody by blood and as such you have the right to walk away from any circumstance that demoralizes you. Pregnancy guarantees nothing.  You can conceive and yet be abandoned. A man that truly loves you will never put you to shame or present you with difficult choices he will honor you before your family by paying your bride price and will wed you legally and properly before making babies with you. Every woman wants to walk down the aisle; every woman wants to make her father proud. Some may have missed it but there`s always a second chance.

 Don’t be ignorant and fall for the antics of families that want surrogates to bring children forth. A wedding ceremony can be as simple and affordable as you want but single parenting or the shame and guilt that comes with a pregnancy outside wedlock is far too expensive. Be wise!

The Hen is more important than the Egg my dear.